Let's Talk About Sex Postive 3: And Doing It Well

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Let's Talk About Sex Postive 3: And Doing It Well

After a few very heavy days of unpacking pain and engaging pathologies as they pertain to sex, it seems high time to deal with what SHOULD be the fun part: the sex! We’ve all had “Better Than No Sex” sex or “That Wasn’t Worth The Hours Of Sleep” sex. I don’t know about y’all, but I am all about the business of making any sex that I’m having great.

Before you can be comfortable with your partner, you have to be comfortable with YOURSELF! If you didn’t get a chance to check out Monday’s piece, I wanted to emphasize the need to look at yourself in the mirror and be turned on. What’s sexy about someone who doesn’t find his or herself to be sexy? Very little. If you can’t disrobe for for yourself without focusing 100% of your attention on what’s wrong with you, then you will project that same lack of confidence to your partner. Taking what ever steps you need to address those issues as they exist outside of the bedroom will likely create an improved sense of freedom in the bedroom.

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Let's Talk About Sex Postive 3: And Doing It Well

Etiquette In Swinging (Common Sense and Social Courtesy)

Etiquette In Swinging (Common Sense and Social Courtesy)

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1. BE COURTEOUS - Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence, courtesy is our treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated. Remember the Golden and Silver rules.

2. BE FRIENDLY - Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.

3. RESPOND TO ALL INVITATIONS - RSVP means please reply to the invitation. It does NOT mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond, PERIOD. Good etiquette and good social courtesy DEMAND you respond, by either calling or writing to say yes OR no.

4. NEVER ARRIVE EMPTY HANDED - When you go to someone's home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple, a house- gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.)

5. GO PREPARED - Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities.

6. CLEANLINESS - Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or unfresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. It is amazing what time to drive somewhere, stop for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather UNDO.

7. RESPECT OTHERS' FEELINGS - Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.

8. DON'T BE PUSHY - If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "No, thank you," do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.

9. ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU - Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.

10. HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO - One of the basic etiquettes in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No". Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No, thank you". Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.

11. ALCOHOL OR DRUGS - Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over-indulging (Getting Drunk off your Ass) may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle. 420 Friendly, Ask a Host !

12. PRACTICE SAFER SEX - It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection.

13. CALL TO SAY THANKS - Most people only use the telephone if they are going to go somewhere. Lost seems to the social ambiance of a 'Thank-You Note' or phone call to someone whose hospitality you enjoyed. It means a lot to most people, and they will surely remember you when planning their next event. Don't you like to be thanked?

14. BE A GOOD HOSTS - When we have people coming to your homes, we try to anticipate their needs: clean sheets on the beds; keep plenty of clean washcloths and towels available. If you haven’t been to one of our parties, ask for a tour of the home so that you will know where the bathrooms, kitchen, and other rooms play rooms are located. We want you to feel at home!!

15. ENJOY YOURSELF - Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude. You are there to have the best of times and to share the uninhibited enjoyment with those who have discovered a new dimension in their lifestyles. Don't hesitate to introduce yourselves to other people. You'll find them eager to welcome you.

AL & Vanessa

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Created by Swingers for Swingers

Black Swingers Guide to Swinging with your Partner

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for at least one thing in life, be it food or intimacy, as examples. Leaving food on the table, we stray into a familiar territory to take a dig on an act of physical intimacy. Intimacy is a term stretched to every direction and now it’s slanting towards the “swingers”.

Swinging is a non-monogamous activity of physical intimacy treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. It has a recreational perspective. Swingers indulge in intimate acts with someone other than one’s spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person.

Swingers have been thriving since the beginning of recorded time. In the era of flower power, swinging was a very “in-thing” and among the most popular “culture”. It has had different social standings through time, of course! The phenomenon of swinging may be seen as part of the revolution of recent decades. Swinging is like a sport for people who believe physical attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple.

Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in carnal activities with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. The most common method is an adult male and female couple, meeting other pairs for lovemaking and physical intimacy, and sometimes ongoing intimate relationships. The activity may occur at a swing party, a couple-to-couple encounter, a liaison, or with a third person in a threesome.

The Different Types of Swinging Couples

During these events, swingers acknowledge lovemaking as a game and participants as team-mates. There are few ground rules, but none etched in stone. The prominent carnal activities, but definitely not limited to, are several to mention, but a few of the most popular ones include:

Exhibitionism

It is the form of pleasure which involves making out with a partner while being watched by at least one other person.

Voyeurism

Watching others doing or performing the big bang. It is acceptable in the group event, but not in private areas.

Soft Swap

It involves kissing and stroking and the basics in blowing a guy or tickling a girl down south, with multiple partners. This can be indulged during the threesome, group romp, or while swapping partners.

Peak Swap

This is to have penetrative physical sex with someone other than one’s partner. The idea is almost the definition of swinging, but not necessarily the same.

Group Game

This term signifies the activities involving multiple players in the same lay-out. It usually defines a group of four or more people interacting physically. The most common is two couples, although it can be any gender of four or more people.

Ménage a Trios

Also known as threesomes, this is one of the most common methods of starting in the swinging lifestyle for beginners. A lot of couples will carry on with threesomes long after they become an integral part in swinging. In this, all three involved people interact with each other in bed.

Extreme Measures

These include things such as spanking, bondage, and water sports. The majority of these are very uncommon at most swingers’ parties unless the hosts have chosen a theme for the night, in which case you will be notified well before the night of the party.

Bi-Factor

People of the same gender interacting with each other sexually. This is much more common between women than men, but it doesn’t mean every woman will indulge in it. Bisexuality between men is extremely rare in the swinging community, and is usually frowned upon if not organized prior, and is usually preferred in a separate area.

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created for Swingers by Swingers

Black Swingers Social Network – Socialize Naked
http://BlackSwingers.xitti.com

BlackSwingersOnline is a 100% Free swingers social network for Black Lifestyle Couples and Singles. Black Swingers Social Network was created for swingers by swingers. Come Socialize Naked and find others who share the same Social and Sexual Interest. Members are free to post their Private Adult Events; Swinger Parties, Bar Meets, Conventions, Club Events, if it’s going down, and you want others to know, post it here on Swinger Lifestyle!

Al & Vanessa
Swingers Social Network
Socialize Naked!
Swingers LuxXxuria.com

Created By Swingers For Swingers

Black Swingers Club.com

Black Swingers Clubs is one of the only Lifestyle sites made for swingers of color by swingers of color. In this community we have the opportunity to not only find new partners but also to network with other individuals and groups from across the nation in an environment where we can feel comfortable and safe.

On this site standard (free) membership allows you to access and communicate freely with other members. Premium membership will allow access to new site features and additional content.

In this community you will be able to search for nearby members, chat, have and access member galleries, and forums. You also have private messaging and other tools to make communication easy and fun.

One of the main differences between us and some of the other sites is that we offer those who have groups or would like to start a group a place to call their own with private groups, group only post, group chat, and private forums.

So welcome to the new best place on the web for black swingers.

Chicago Black Swingers

conveinently located off the Dolton East exit of I-94

Our new location has it's own private parking lot adjacent to the building,as you can see in the picture. When you enter the buidling you will be greeted by our friendly receptionist and your RSVP confirmed. In our lobby area there is a sitting area as well as the restrooms. To your left you will find a long hallway
where all the sensual erotic fun takes place! Down the hall you will find 9 seperate rooms for your playing pleasure. Each room has a different theme, the sensual smell of aroma therapy and music. This is the place where erotic fantasies become reality. To your right you will pass the office and Dj booth
on your way to the great room. The great room is the place to let the bass from the music elevate your mind and body.Sway your hips to the sounds of Reggae, get your juke on, your step on, or bob your head to some old skool house - whatever your pleasure our DJ will get it in. Around the corner from
there you can satisfy your appetite with a light buffet and drink mixers. Remember all of our events are BYOB. Cum out with an open mind and explore , release your sexual inhibitions. This is a no pressure environment, voyeurs are always welcome.....Celebrating a birthday? Let us know

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Black Swingers Alliance

Black Swingers Alliance


Black Swingers Alliance

Black Swingers Alliance is committed to bringing together Swingers of Color and those who love us, in a classy, informative and fun environment that embraces our four principles -"Respect, Safety, Style and Indulgence" while, providing an opportunity for networking to adult oriented businesses and services. We extend a warm reception to lifestylers of all backgrounds who come with a positive vibe, and an appetite for fun.

Black Swingers - DC Mingle

Black Swingers - DC Mingle
DC Mingle is a social organization dedicated to bringing sexually free open minded people together. As a part of the lifestyle community, we allow couples, single females and select single males to come together for an upscale alternative adult lifestyle gathering, in the Washington, DC area.

Because we understand the importance of being discreet, our gatherings are by invitation only, which gives us ultimate privacy for you to explore your inner most desires. We offer an sophisticated atmosphere that’s inviting to both new comer’s and seasoned swingers. We have been hosting lifestyle parties in the Washington, D.C., area for the past twelve years.

It’s about fun, friendship, and fullfilling fantasies. We have a variety of theme gatherings, contests, giveaways, and trips . Our goal is simple meet new friends, and have a good time.. Join us on one of the social networks below

DC Mingle

Black Swingers Fest

Black Swingers from all over the United States will converge on this Naughty Resort, for weekend of erotic fun. You remember when you and your significant other went on a trip, and you said to yourself, that trip would be better if we saw more people that looked like us, or partied like us. Well here is your chance to join a group of people that look like you and party like you for a weekend.
For booking and payment please contact our travel agent 267-716-3938,
301-292-1581
or e-mail at Goldndayz2@aol.com When contacting the travel agent make sure you mention "DC Mingle" travel group

Black Swingers Define Swinging

We define Swinging as, “social and sexual intercourse with someone other than your mate, boyfriend or girlfriend, excepting the traditional one-on-one dating.

Swinging is not the same as swapping, because lots of swingers (men and women) are still single, so no need to swap. A good definition might perhaps be “recreational sex”. In summary, swinging is for (mostly) heterosexual people who enjoy sex for its own sake, as opposed to purely within one relationship. Sex as a hobby.

A few important things: first, no one should swing unless they really want to. No one should ever go into it if they are at all uncertain of their own wishes, or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner. Swinging can (and often does) strengthen couples’ attachment to one another. But equally, it can and does wreck relationships too. If you can’t discuss it openly between yourselves or if one partner keeps bringing it up you almost certainly shouldn’t go there.

Swingers lifestyle is based upon communication more than any other factor. Swinging couples have an ability to talk openly about there feelings with one another and learning to do that must precede any decision or discussion of entering the Lifestyle.

A good way to start the process with a spouse is to talk about sexual fantasies, particularly those sexual fantasies that involve other people. Once you have established that your fantasies can be more of a source of excitement than a threat, it is much easier to begin talking in terms of bringing those fantasies into the real world.

No matter how you start the communication, it is not generally a good idea to simply blurt out, “Hey, do you want to swing?”. Most people who have been in a long term monogamous marriage are going to be taken aback by that approach, and failure is almost assured. It is best to establish the idea over a period of time rather than try to rush.

You can’t “swing” without your spouse’s knowledge and consent. That isn’t swinging. You would be having an affair. Swinging requires two consenting adults who are open to the idea of participating in the lifestyle together. Most swinging couples are not going to have anything to do with someone who is sneaking around on a spouse. Swingers as a group are very proud of the fact that they are open and honest about their sexuality. Cheating is considered to be the antithesis of everything that the swinging lifestyle is about and besides, the swinging community is already assailed by literally millions of solo males looking to get laid.

Your best bet is to work on the communication in your marriage and try talking about the swingers lifestyle some more. Remember, that swinging isn’t for every couple. If you can’t agree on it, maybe it is not for you.

It is generally not a good idea to swing with friends, unless you met them through swinging: even then, many swingers have a “one-hit” rule, so emotional complications/attractions can’t arise.

Do Black People Swing?

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Black Swingers Resources

Black Swingers Resources

Swinging activity is far away from old norms. Interracial swinging with Afro-American swinger couple is what many swingers seek to indulge in sex. There are online swinger club for interracial relationship with Black swinger personals ads on their sites.

http://www.InterracialSwingOnline.com

Interracial Swingers is a 100% Free Social Sexual Network for Interracial couples and singles, actively involved in the swing lifestyle who are attracted too, and party with people outside of their race? Join thousands of members just like you looking for interracial friendship, Fun and Sex!

http://www.Black-SwignersOnline.com

BlackSwingersOnline is a 100% Free swingers social network for Black Lifestyle Couples and Singles. Black Swingers Social Network was created for swingers by swingers. Come Socialize Naked and find others who share the same Social and Sexual Interest. Members are free to post their Private Adult Events; Swinger Parties, Bar Meets, Conventions, Club Events, if it’s going down, and you want others to know, post it here on Swinger Lifestyle!