Black Swingers Define Swinging

We define Swinging as, “social and sexual intercourse with someone other than your mate, boyfriend or girlfriend, excepting the traditional one-on-one dating.

Swinging is not the same as swapping, because lots of swingers (men and women) are still single, so no need to swap. A good definition might perhaps be “recreational sex”. In summary, swinging is for (mostly) heterosexual people who enjoy sex for its own sake, as opposed to purely within one relationship. Sex as a hobby.

A few important things: first, no one should swing unless they really want to. No one should ever go into it if they are at all uncertain of their own wishes, or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner. Swinging can (and often does) strengthen couples’ attachment to one another. But equally, it can and does wreck relationships too. If you can’t discuss it openly between yourselves or if one partner keeps bringing it up you almost certainly shouldn’t go there.

Swingers lifestyle is based upon communication more than any other factor. Swinging couples have an ability to talk openly about there feelings with one another and learning to do that must precede any decision or discussion of entering the Lifestyle.

A good way to start the process with a spouse is to talk about sexual fantasies, particularly those sexual fantasies that involve other people. Once you have established that your fantasies can be more of a source of excitement than a threat, it is much easier to begin talking in terms of bringing those fantasies into the real world.

No matter how you start the communication, it is not generally a good idea to simply blurt out, “Hey, do you want to swing?”. Most people who have been in a long term monogamous marriage are going to be taken aback by that approach, and failure is almost assured. It is best to establish the idea over a period of time rather than try to rush.

You can’t “swing” without your spouse’s knowledge and consent. That isn’t swinging. You would be having an affair. Swinging requires two consenting adults who are open to the idea of participating in the lifestyle together. Most swinging couples are not going to have anything to do with someone who is sneaking around on a spouse. Swingers as a group are very proud of the fact that they are open and honest about their sexuality. Cheating is considered to be the antithesis of everything that the swinging lifestyle is about and besides, the swinging community is already assailed by literally millions of solo males looking to get laid.

Your best bet is to work on the communication in your marriage and try talking about the swingers lifestyle some more. Remember, that swinging isn’t for every couple. If you can’t agree on it, maybe it is not for you.

It is generally not a good idea to swing with friends, unless you met them through swinging: even then, many swingers have a “one-hit” rule, so emotional complications/attractions can’t arise.